Frugal & Grateful Friday

Other than the usual day to day thrifty things there is not much to report. We are finding this an expensive year as you have read. Stretching it to report a few thrifty things.

- I cleaned the inside of the new to us frig thoroughly and wondered if there were coils to clean or if they were sealed. Found the manual online. We will be pulling it out to clean the coils in the back and then monitor to see how often they will have to be cleaned since we don’t know when it was done last.

- We have decided we need to take on more of the landscaping plant design and sourcing ourselves as we are not getting the amount of help we thought we would. We negotiated having the hardscape team take on the prep for planting as we are very satisfied with their availability, work and work ethic.

- I have been careful to run the dishwasher at the lowest rate time. Using the delayed start setting helps with that. It was a “duh” moment when I thought of using that feature lol. Grateful for dishes being washed while I sleep!

Recently I have also been grateful for -

- The zany energy outbursts of our 1 1/2 year old pup who runs laps and sprints around the house with and without toys involved. We cheer him on to get that energy out! It has also caused us to share happy memories of our last dog at the same age. We were very attached to her and her final illness was hard.

- The two hardworking guys building the hardscape in our backyard. They show up when scheduled, are cheerful and are making good progress. And they listen well to what we want and come up with ways to make it happen!

- Chats with a close by neighbor who I like more each time we talk.

- Our sons and DILs wanting to spend time with us.

- Many good nights of sleep in a row.

- That our washer has a hand wash cycle so no more washing things in the kitchen sink.

- So far the house temperature has been tolerable on the hottest days and cools down well at night. Eventually we may add more ceiling fans or other fans but for now it works.

Half way there

 I passed the midpoint of the 10 week recovery period of my bunion surgery. I’m even sometimes waking without a crutch so putting full weight on my battered foot. I am finding that rather unsteady going mostly due the height differences of the boot and the shoes I can wear on my other foot. 

I wanted to celebrate somehow besides taking short walks and last night gave me the opportunity. Hubby had a very long lunch with a friend and wasn’t interested in dinner. Nothing we had appealed yo me so he agreed to to pick up take out. A cocktail and light meal later made a nice change in our dinners and really felt like a treat.

I’m being able to do more of the chores.and stuff so I’m hoping the pressure on Hubby is enough less that he can recover from all the caretaking and not be so tired. If it wasn’t for the pandemic I’d hire a housecleaner. Our son and DIL would quite generously run the vacuum etc. when they are here Sunday for my early birthday brunch but I don’t want to ask that of them I know their jobs and the pandemic restrictions are wearing them down too.

I’ve accepted that right now my ability to concentrate is low so I’m just making myself do one thing for my club each day and I’m still close to being on schedule. Had the good news that a member made a donation for our charity fund. Makes me more optimistic that when we send out our very direct appeal to all members to do so they will respond positively. We can’t rent out the clubhouse for events or hold in person fundraisers so we need plain donations.

Other than that it’s more of the same here.

FOMO & FORO vs. a focus on acquiring & experiencing what we truly need

I was recently introduced to the term FOMO (I know, I must have had my head in the sand LOL) and decided that fear of missing out is so close emotionally and in terms of habits to fear of running out (FORO).

Anyone who was raised by a depression era survivor parent knows all about stockpiling to avoid FORO. Excess quantities of food in the pantry and freezer. Saving lots of jars, bags, etc. Buying in quantity especially if the item is on sale or 2 for 1. These habits often got translated and expanded to the next generations and as our homes also expanded in size and/or we started worrying about the likelihood of income loss due to job loss or retirement, we acquired even more.

Instead of acting on the healthier FOMO activities of travel, expanding friendship circles, learning new skills or other ways to avoid the fear of missing out, we may have stocked up on material goods. Even someone like me who hates clutter and tries hard to keep everything organized (its my obsession, sorry) succumbed to stockpiling toiletries, buying the same clothing item in multiples and other things related to FORO.

It was easier not to do when there were 4 of us living in a house half the size of the one now occupied by just 2 of us. As an aside, it is interesting to me that both my sons and DILs live in homes much smaller than ours although they do like their stuff too.

I have been quietly working on breaking the FORO habit. Toothpaste? It is always readily available and really doesn't cost much so 1 in use and one as back up is certainly more than enough. Garbage bags? Put that on the list when the stock gets low (although perhaps I let it get too low this week but recycled grocery bags will fill the gap).

This isn't a storage issue for us but for me it is a mindset issue. I have plenty. More than enough stuff to be honest.

What I need more in my life is not stuff. Rather it is travel, friends, learning and health. A work in progress.

Remembering my Dad

Yesterday was Veteran's Day and I thought about my Dad a lot. His 3 years of service in the Army Air Corp during WWII left him assigned to an air base in Alaska where he was so bored that he asked to be transferred to a bomber crew in the European theater. His tour of duty on that bomber based in England targeted Germany mostly but also some targets in other countries. He was the flight engineer, but his pilot thought every crew member should be able to fly the plane so he taught him how to fly. Later in life he found great joy in flying a sailplane (glider) as a hobby.

Dad's diary of that time was matter of fact, but included things like "plane down on left; no chutes". He didn't expect to live through his tour of duty and that was a realistic appraisal of the odds. His whole crew made it through even though their tour was extended for more missions. The only crew fatality was a man who was subbing on a different crew and plane the day he died. Dad had close calls - a piece of shrapnel hitting him in the head on one of the days he actually wore his helmet and having to lean out of the plane in mid-air to close the bomber bay doors by hand.

 

Afterwards he was sent to a rest camp in the N. Carolina mountains so I presume he was diagnosed with shell shock. Who wouldn't have been suffering from that. He then was assigned to a trainer role in Illinois where he met my Mom at a USO dance and they married shortly in Texas where he was later based before he was discharged after Armistice Day.

He was a quiet and gentle man who did what needed to be done without complaining. He wasn't a paragon of course. Rather introverted and a perfectionist which was both a strength and a characteristic that was a challenge for my brother especially as I got the emphasis of my Mom's perfectionism more. My parents sort of divided up their 2 children - Mom spent more time with me and Dad more with my brother - when he wasn't working 6 days a week. One thing I was always confident about was that my Dad would take care of us. I have lots of good memories of special times with him and knew I could totally count on his love and support.

He had lots of artistic talent that he was pursuing pre-war and then was unable to pursue until he retired and took up pastels and excelled at portraits. From photos he did portraits of his grandparents and my Mom's parents.

Pre-war

 Pre-war

 



 

Post-retirement pastels of his maternal grandparents

 



He lived to 88 despite lots of cardiovascular challenges which he tackled head on with multiple surgeries (quadruple bypass, carotid artery, abdominal aneurysm, pacemaker, etc.) and medication. When he learned that no more medical intervention could keep him alive he faced dying with his usual courage and went into hospice care where he only accepted morphine but no liquids or food.

I did not really appreciate and understand him until I was in my 50s. What I have taken from him as a role model is profound for me. Live in the present. Face challenges with determination and a problem solving approach. Be happy that you are alive and woke up this morning. Love your family with all of your heart. Be kind.

November Goals: Keeping it simple

My goals are simple, but time consuming for November:

- Clean kitchen very thoroughly before Thanksgiving including cabinets

- Find Thanksgiving and 4 other day dinner plans for visiting son and DIL who are eating Paleo

- Finish pruning azaleas, spray for white flies, clean out perennial bed and rake leaves endlessly

- Vacuum semi-finished basement

- Focus on being thankful for the family, friends and life we have

What are your goals as we enter the holiday season?

Happy dances for the week of 10/4

A few things that made me happy this past week -

 

- Our pink camellia bush is blooming and I see it from the dining room table.

- I started a free course from Cal Berkeley on The Science of Happiness through edX. Much better quality than some other online courses I have tried.

- Really like the haircut I got this week.

- Thai food for date night - yum.

Happy dances for the week of 9/27

Oh, how little it takes to make me happy. Of course I like the big, joyful things in life too.

This past week I felt happy because

- Hubby and I played Scrabble using our own version of the rules for what we call "Speed Scrabble". No point keeping and you have to make your play fairly quickly so that it is doable to play a game in the evening.

- I really enjoyed my book club evening  (even though I hadn't read the book)

- Feeling quite happy with my fall wardrobe; even a bit stylish LOL

- Added an hour long stretch class to my weekly Pilates session and will keep doing so

- Made chicken enchilada casserole for the first time in ages and it was delicious

Happy dances for the week of September 20th

This was a social week for me and that made me happy.

- Had lunch with a woman who was the little girl next door when I was in high school & college. Her Mom and mine were best friends and both died in the Spring of 2014. It was nice to "meet" her while she was in town visiting friends of hers.

- Talked on the phone and via email with the woman who was the teenager next door when I was a young Mom living in San Diego. We are arranging to spend a day with her while we are in NYC in October as she lives in Brooklyn. Will be so much fun to see the city with her as we travel around being tourists.

- Had a nice long chat with a friend who just got back from an Alaskan cruise. She was so happy with the experience and is figuring out how to go back to Alaska next summer. I am so happy for her as she doesn't do much for herself and was concerned if the money she spent on the cruise was going to be worth it.

Other happiness inducers were:

- When I walked into Kroger on Wednesday morning they handed me a yellow carnation. It is in a bud vase brightening a corner of our home right now.

- I got my flu shot at the drugstore and am very happy I realized it was time to do this and that there is no cost due to my insurance. Most people aren't happy to get vaccinations but I was terribly ill with the flu a long time ago to the point of losing 10 pounds after living on water and a bit of bread for a week spent lying down. Although I would like to lose 10 pounds I don't want to be that sick ever again if I can avoid it!

- We had our giant sugar maple and oak trees pruned to thin the crown and pull it back some from the house roof and power line. They did a fabulous job and cleaned up after themselves pretty well. Last major, expensive prune (hopefully) before we sell the house.

Happy dances for week of September 13th

We had several lovely cool Fall days in a row before it became Summer again. As a result we were able to walk a segment of the Atlanta Beltline on Sunday. Exercise, a temporary outdoor art exhibit, some wildflowers, lunch at the turnaround point and a nice time with Hubby is happiness indeed.

The used CD and record store owner bought the CDs leftover from the Friends book sale. I believe he paid us more than they are worth which was kind.

I have finished a round of pruning of bushes in our yard! Just in time for leaf raking LOL.

My clothes shopping for wardrobe rebuilding continues. Among other things I found a jacket with a hood in exactly the color I was looking for at the consignment store. I'm now all set for Fall except for shoes.

This amazing spider and its zigzag reinforced web center!

Happy dances for the week of September 6th

I was happy to see this critter in our back yard Friday morning and even happier to see it before I stepped there! It is well camouflaged. I wonder what they eat? Love that they have red eyes and definitely look at you.

A lovely lunch with a friend. Always good company but what I realized made me extra happy was that we started telling parts of our life story to each other. It is so important to have friends you can share your story with.

I learned that the Friends of the Library book sale on the 6th raised $6400 for the library! That is $1000 more than we made on the sale at the same time last year.

The spot on my nose I was concerned about is a broken blood vessel and not a lesion according to the dermatologist. Since it was right next to the scar from a previously removed carcinoma that makes me very happy.

Happy dances for the week of August 30th

Lots of happiness this past week!

- I turned 66 on Tuesday and am very happy that I am feeling pretty strong and energetic. We celebrated early so I spent the day thrift shopping and going to my regular Pilates session which I am so grateful to be able to afford. I may switch to Barre classes though when I have used up my prepaid sessions.

- I have been freezing bananas that slip past the eating point and made a batch of banana muffins one cool morning. I am happy to be able to run the oven again without making the air conditioner run overtime. The dog was happy because the recipe only uses egg whites and she got an egg yolk doggy omelet for brunch.

- Wow, we were crazy busy at the Friends of the Library book sale on Saturday and almost sold everything which is my goal. I don't know how much we made yet as there wasn't time for the treasurer to count the money. At the end of the sale which is outside we were all tired so we stuck the money in the library safe and went home. We weren't sure what the impact would be of the Decatur Book Festival setting up tents in the street in front of the library - and right in front of our sale - but it seemed to increase our business which is good!

- When I took my lunch break during the sale there was a line out the door at the restaurant where I usually grab a sandwich. Since I was by myself I went into one I had been wanting to try and sat at the bar to speed things up. I ordered something I used to eat as a child - a BLT and man was it delicious. Turns out they use garden grown tomatoes and it tasted just like my childhood memory. I am so glad to have happy memories of my Mom triggered as I seem to still be mourning her death over a year later.

- Speaking of my Mom, my brother closed the last account for the trust we inherited and sent me a check for half splitting it down to the penny. I am so glad we worked on settling the estate so cooperatively and the experience strengthened our relationship as we interacted so much more frequently than we had in the past.

What made you happy last week? Are you looking forward to happy events?

Practicing Lagom (Enough, sufficient, adequate, just right) to increase my contentment

My Swedish ancestors should be happy although I'm not sure the concept existed in their era when they were fleeing famine and betting it all on a new life in the USA.

Anyway, I am really trying to keep the definition of lagom at the front of my mind as I make decisions about spending money, spending my time, spending my energy.

Today I needed to replace the dog's leash as the hooking mechanism is not working right and we are concerned that it will come loose. She has what I have to say are the cutest and most appropriate for her collar and leash that we bought for quite a lot of money when we adopted her and went rather crazy in the pet store. We will clearly need an intervention if we ever have a grandchild LOL.

Anyway, her set is a squirrel decorated collar and matching leash. Little did we know how squirrel obsessed she was when we picked it out. I went to the company's website and came very close to buying a new, equally cute set for $70 plus shipping - but, she only needs a new leash. Hmm, replacing the same one she has is $48 plus shipping. Maybe I could buy it at our nearest pet store and save the shipping. Yes, they are listed as carrying the brand. So I went to the store and fortunately for our pocketbook they didn't have them.

As I browsed I thought about what I really needed and there was a brown leash that would match her harness (dog fashion being important of course) and it rang up at under $12. Is it enough, sufficient, adequate, just right? Definitely. She sniffed it and then raced to the door for her walk because that is after all what is really lagom! In addition, the money I spent on lunch with a friend today and will spend tomorrow for lunch with another helps me reach lagom in social interaction/friendship building which is clearly a higher priority than a decorated leash. Bonus: She is still wearing her squirrel collar that makes me smile and she is her entertaining self as usual.

In the same line I keep reminding myself that I need to take care to keep a supply of library books at home to satisfy my reading passion. Lagom is having one to read at ALL times so I don't resort to buying them to get my daily reading fix.

I'm not sure if this fits but my attempt to bring music back in my life is proceeding well. I've enjoyed some CDs that I had forgotten we owned. I've got two suggestions for free music streaming - Pandora and Google Play Music. I will explore both. I also realized as I sorted donated CDs that we will sell for $1 each at the next Friends of the Library book sale, that I should bring home all that looked slightly appealing and listen to them. I haven't taken my $5 worth of free books/CDs at the last two book sales and certainly I can find 10 that will be lagom! I'm listening to one right now that I am enjoying a lot. Curating a collection that I actually listen to plus a source of streaming new music that fits what I like and I will be all set!

A Happy Sunday

Doggie kisses

Making blueberry muffins

Husband taking care of me so lovingly

Thunder and drenching rainstorm

Air conditioning

Books to read

Feeling better

Lots of happiness right now.

Well now, that was a painful new experience

Let me say up front that apart from a bruise on one arm and a bump on my head I am just fine. Very early Friday morning I wasn't though.

Suffering some gastro-intestinal distress probably from the spicy sausage that was part of Thursday's dinner, I trekked into the bathroom about 3:30am. Last thing I remember before coming to flat on my back on the tile floor was starting to walk back to the bedroom.

I've never fainted before and it was very strange to be trying to figure out where I was and how I got there. My husband said it sounded like a very large tree branch hitting the roof. We got around later on Friday to joking that it was a branch of the family tree that fell!

The best I can come up with is that the dinner plus possibly the Ibuprofen I took caused acute gastris and that resulted in a rapid drop in blood pressure. Go figure.

After spending Friday being waited on by my husband, napping excessively with the dog, and eating very small bland meals I seem to be on the mend although the aches from falling are compounded by those from the really hard Pilates session I had on Thursday. Thank goodness it seems I can take Tylenol.

Counting my blessings that I didn't hit anything on the way down and hoping never to repeat!

Reverse Advent Days 1-6

It is a very good time of year to give things away and I am doing Reverse Advent as suggested by The Frugal Queen and giving away one item each day of advent.

So far:

December 1st: book donated to Friends of the Library
December 2nd - 5th: women's knit top, cookbook, apron, and fabric remnants to pet rescue thrift store
December 6th: cash donation to community food bank

How are you celebrating Advent?

Reverse Advent

What a lovely idea suggested by The Frugal Queen - give away one item each day of advent. How grateful will that make you feel?

I am starting today with a book to the Friends of the Library for the sale in February. You know how I love the library and am involved in fundraising so it is a perfect match.

Want to join us?

I am grateful

This past week I was especially grateful for:

- Finding the motivation to do needed yard work on days it didn't rain
- Seeing with friends a play at our favorite local theatre
- Lunch out with a friend and dinner out with Hubby
- The great team that makes up our Friends of the Library board and volunteers
- My daughter in law who is planning my 65th birthday party while working long hours