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Monday, November 5, 2018

We are both orphans now

My father-in-law died yesterday morning at the age of 91. Hospice care was a wonderful thing and my husband feels greatly at peace with how he helped his Dad through his final years.

He was a fighter and found enjoyment in small things until the day before he died. A long and resilient life. After my mother-in-law died 13 years ago at 80 he found a way forward and made a different life for himself.

Both my in-laws were welcoming, kind and generous to me. I distinctly remember the first time I met them. My hubby invited me to go to the family Thanksgiving dinner - about 25 people! - along with my 7 year old son. We were hugged and welcomed and it stayed that way forever.

Now we are the oldest in our family. My father died eight years ago at 88 and my mother 4 years ago at 93.  We come from long lived families and at 69 (me) and just short of 66 (DH) we probably have a long way to go - which is good!

Last night we were talking about how odd it is in your 60s to realize that you are now an "orphan". The people who knew and loved you since you were born are now gone although my husband still has two 90 year old aunts. It is an odd feeling.

Add to this the fact that we moved to our current location to be near my FIL when we would have gone near our granddaughter otherwise. Our granddaughter turns 2 on November 20th and the next generation is happy and growing. Perhaps we can still head to N Cal to attend her party.

There won't be any swift decisions as there is a lot to do and a lot to process but once again we are facing a time of potential great change ahead. Right now it is time for sharing good memories, doing the tasks that have to be done and keeping our own little family healthy and happy.

10 comments:

  1. Juhli, I am so sorry for your loss, I truly am. I hope you both will take comfort in having been there for your father-in-law these last couple of years. Hugs to you both, Tamara

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    1. Thank you. We were just saying how our move to close to him had been good timing. My husband is at peace with it as his Dad was ready to go and he helped him have a good end.

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  2. It is always sad when someone we love and care about dies. He lived to a ripe old age and it's comforting to know you were there these last few years with him.

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    1. Thank you. An end of a generation in our family.

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  3. My condolences to you both. Wonderful that you were able to be close and spend time with him. The time and care we spend with and on our parents is a gift to them, having no regrets about missing out on being able to do that is a gift we give ourselves.

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  4. Juhli, I'm sorry for your loss. My virtual hugs to you both. Take care.

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    1. Thanks much. My Hubby is at peace with it and the funeral is now booked for Friday. Onward.

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  5. Hi Juhli, I am so glad you got to spend more time with him since you moved. You'll go forward with good memories.

    -Dar @ anexactinglife

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